Blue's Clues meets Mulder and Scully
by Plato's Tragedy
Summary: Paprika is missing and Agent Scully and Mulder are sent for the case!!
1. Entering Blue's House

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"We have to look for what?" Scully was standing up in total horror, staring down at Skinner.

"Um, a missing paprika shaker." He said under his breath.

"How is find someone's lost paprika shaker in any way, shape or form an X-file? I wish the FBI would come to my house and help me find my keys when I lose them!" Scully shouted. Yelling was not Scully's way, she was a usually soft-spoken person, but now she was really riled up.

"Itit talks" Skinner said uncomfortable under the horrified glares of Special Agents Fox Mulder, and Dana Scully.

"It talks?" Mulder asked dubious.

"Yes" Skinner, said softly. There was a few second of silence in the room. Scully was beginning to get madder and madder.

"Oh right. A talking paprika shaker, what else do they have? A mailbox that sings in a quartet?" 

"Um"Skinner began and then stopped mid-sentence. "Hey, you can't question me! I'm the Assistant Director and I can assign you any case I damn well please! Now get out of my office!" Skinner suddenly stood up, and glared at the two agents, fire blazing in his eyes. Despondent, they left.

* * *

The agents pulled up to a brightly painted house. Sunshine yellow for the body, purple for the frame and a bright red roof, in Spanish tile.

"I had no idea they made purple frames." Mulder mumbled. The house was strangle alone on it's street, but it looked to innocent, with an all-American white picket fence around the perfectly green yard with, yes, a dog in the yard. The dog was sky blue, with a lighter shade of blueberry spots dotting her.

"I wonder where the guy got the blue dog? I've never seen a that before." Mulder continued "I wonder if it's some kind of alien. You know the myth has always been" Scully interrupted him

"This is the X-file Mulder. We've seen stranger." They walked up to the fence, but before they could open it, it opened its self, and a man with a chipper face, and olive and grass green stripped shirt appeared in one of the flowerbed-trimmed windows.

"Hey! Come on in! Um" He looked a bit worried "Have you seen my puppy?" Mulder and Scully exchanged looks, why couldn't he see? The dog was right in the front yard, right in from of his eyes. As Mulder was about to answer the _unseen chorus _chimed in.

"She's right there!" The voices yelled. As if on cue, the blue dog jumped up and barked in a kind of fake dog bark that a little kid might imitate.

"Bow bow" She sang.

"Oh there you are Blue!" The man looked seemingly into no where "Come on in!" His head retreated from the window, and the orange door opened. Mulder and Scully shrugged and walked to the door.

"Hi! I'm Steve and this" Again on cue the dog appeared "Is my dog. Blue!" Scully smiled politely, but was thinking what a nut case Steve' seemed to be.

"Hi Steve. I'm Special Agent Dana Scully, and this" Mulder nodded "Is my partner Special Agent Fox Mulder. We are from the FBI. Someone here reported a" Scully stumbled "A missing paprika shaker." Steve nodded solemnly.

"Oh yes. Poor Mr. Salt and Mrs. Pepper. Their poor baby girl Paprika was all they had." 

"Mr. Salt and Mrs. Pepper?" Mulder asked, "this is beginning to sound like a Beatles' song more and more.

"Come inside, and I'll show you around." Steve said all to enthusiastically. The two stepped inside, they were met by a bright red carpet, and yellow walls bright and warm it felt almost like it should be in a kid's show

"Who decorated this place?" Scully mumbled under her breath as she looked around the all too happy place. Steve stopped in front of a large red chair, next to it was a night stand, with a single draw in which a pair of eyes, and big smiling mouth was seemingly drawn on to. 

"I think I should introduce Mr. Salt and Mrs. Pepper to you. They are in the kitchen." Steve said to the agents. They nodded and continued to follow. Mulder looked back at the draw, its eyes were staring after them, Mulder could have sworn that it blinked at him. He shook his head and continued into the kitchen. 

As they entered, the scene suddenly changed from a red carpet, and yellow walls to the chipper feel of a kitchen on Prozac. They stopped in at the median, in which a distraught Mr. Salt and Mrs. Pepper were. Scully's jaw dropped to the ground. The salt and pepper shakers were crying. The pepper spoke up, in a heavy French accent.

"My little Paprika!" she wailed. Steve shook his head in condolence. Mulder and Scully looked at each other in s stunned gaze.

"Did the pepper shaker just talk?" Scully asked her partner.

"Not only that, but with a French accent as well" Mulder said.

"Mrs. Pepper, please don't cry. The FBI is here to investigate the disappearance of Paprika." 

"Oh thank you so much." Mr. Salt said, while putting his little salt shaker arm around his wife. Scully shook her head in disbelief. 

"I don't believe this." She started to walk away, but Mulder grabbed her arm.

"Just give me a bit of time to come up with a theory for this one" he said. Suddenly, the dog came into the kitchen.

"Why hello Blue. Have you seen Paprika?" Mr. Salt asked. Blue nodded his head vigorously. Scully looked at the dog.

"What? The dog knows the whereabouts of Paprika?" Blue nodded again and bark that all too fake bark.

"Bow wow bow" she said.

"Where is she Blue?" Mulder asked, kneeling down to her. Blue shook her head, then jumped up and slapped her paw into mid-air, leaving a blue paw print floating in the air. Mulder stared at it, then got up to inspect it but was intercepted by Steve jumping up and knocking over the agent.

"You know what that means?" Steve said to no one in particular.

"No I don't know what that means Steve. Why don't you tell us?"

" Blue wants to play Blue's Clues" as he said Blue's Clues' he flexed his hands in the air "To tell us where Paprika is." Scully gave her most incrediouse look to Steve. As Mulder was getting up, Steve unexpectedly started to sing.

"Now, you've got to find the first paw print (that's the first clue) Gotta put it in our notebook, cuz it's Blue's clues, Blue's Clues." He flexed his hands "Gotta find the second paw print (that's the second clue) Gotta put it in our notebook, cause it's Blue's clues, Blue's clues. Gotta find the third paw print (that's the last clue) Gotta put it in our notebook, now what do we do? We sit in our thinking chair," Steve then ran to the large red chair in the middle of the living room, and sat down. "and think," Steve put his hand on his chin, he then switched hands "thinkthink" He put both hands on his chin "'cause if we put our mind to it, we can do anything we want to do!" As Steve finished, Scully helped her partner up, and whispered in his ear 

"I think Steve is crazy." Mulder nodded. Soon, Steve stopped, and he looked at the paw print, suspended in thin air.

"Well, how are we going to clean this up?" Steve, put his hand on his chin, and thought for a second. He soon picked up a bottle of cleaning solution and a towel, which Mulder and Scully never noticed was there and sprayed the blue paw print, then wiped it away.

"There. Now where's Blue?" Scully was about to say something when the _unseen chorus _jumped in.

"Right there!" Scully and Mulder turned around to see Blue scampering out of the open door in the kitchen. 

"Follower her!" Scully yelled. Her and Mulder raced out the door, as Steve calmly walked out it. They two agents were met with a large back yard, with no fence. The grass was a bright, vibrant green, like the front yard. There was a swing set, a sand pile, and various other things skewed about. Mulder and Scully split up, searching the backyard. Steve walked out as Mulder tripped over a red ball.

"Uh-oh. Looks like Blue didn't put all her toys away." Steve chirped. "I'll have to have another talk with her again." Mulder looked back at him.

"You talk to your dog?" Steve looked stunned.

"Of course, don't you?" Mulder shrugged, and turned away. Scully was looking about the swing set; when out of nowhere came a innocent cry

"Steve! Steve!" It was high pitched, and sounded like that of a little boy. Scully looked up, and put her hand to her gun. Suddenly, a little baby brown bear came running out of the bushes.

"Steve! Steve! I need your help!" The little bear ran to Steve. Scully, clutching her heart out of fright from the suddenness. She swallowed, and turned to Steve, the Bear and Mulder.

"What is it Baby Bear?" Steve asked kneeling to the little bear.

"I lost my favorite toy!" the little bear cried.

"Oh. Do you want to have us help you look for it?" Steve asked. Mulder was wondering whether he meant him and Scully as the us, or the _unseen chorus_ as the us. The Bear nodded. Steve turned behind him, seemingly talking to the house.

"Would you help Baby Bear find his favorite toy?" He asked timidly. 

"Yes!" came the _unseen chorus_. Mulder and Scully again looked about them

"Where are those damn voices coming from?" Mulder asked himself. 

"Great." Steve said, still turned to the house, he stood up, and followed Baby Bear, behind a set of bushes behind the swing set. "Come on Agent Mulder, Agent Scully, will you help us look for Baby Bear's toy?" 

"What about Paprika?" Mulder asked. Steve acted as if he hadn't heard

"Great. Let's go" They shrugged, and followed him. Behind the swing set there were several toy balls lying around on the grass. 

"My toy was a little blue ball with a big yellow strip." Baby Bear said through sniff and snorts. Steve turned again towards the house, but not quite looking at anything in particular.

"Can you see a little blue ball with a big yellow strip here?" Steve asked. Mulder and Scully exchanged looks, again. Mulder shurgged, gave a quite gaze over all the balls and quickly found Baby Bear's ball. He walked over to the balls and started to pick it up, when the Unseen Chorus chimmend in.

"Right there!" They said. As Mulder's hand touched the ball, it began to bouncne on it's own. Mulder jumped back, and stared at the ball, bouncying on it's own.


	2. And the Search Continues...

"Yeah! That's my ball!" Baby Bear cried happily, grinning from ear to ear. Mulder grabbed the bouncing ball, but Baby Bear began to cry again.

"Hey, that's mine!" Mulder looked down, to the crying little brown bear. He put the ball down, and patted the bear on his head.

"Sorry, here you go." The Bear smiled again, grabbed the ball and ran off. Mulder turned to Scully.

"I just gave a little blue ball to a talking bear." He shook his head in disbelief.

"Yes, well, that's all and well, but where is Paprika?" She asked in her lets-get-to-work voice.

"Don't be impatient, Agent Scully. We still have to find the first clue." Steve said. Scully rolled her eyes.

"Sure, Steve." She said. Steve continued to lead the two Agents around the backyard. Soon they came to a bright red picnic table. There was a bucket next to the table, with a blue paw print floating in it. Suddenly the _unseen chorus _screamed,

"Clue, clue!" 

"Oh yes, I like my new shoes too." Steve said dumbly, not understanding the _unseen chorus. _

"No, they said 'Clue'!" Mulder yelled at Steve, who jumped a little in intimidation.

"Oh, a clue!" Steve said looking around. "Where?"

"Over there!" Mulder and the _unseen chorus _said at the same time. Steve, still looking, finally laid eyes on the bucket.

"Oh, it's our first clue!" He ran over the bucket, and Scully and Mulder followed.

"It appears to be water." Scully said. Steve nodded, and pulled a little notebook out of his back pocket. He opened the book and took a black crayon out.

"Now, to draw water you just make some wavy lines here, and here and here." He said as he drew.

"I'm 36 years old, I know how to draw water by now, Steve." Scully said. Steve didn't act like he heard her. 

"Now we need to find our second clue." Soon there was again another call.

"Steve, Steve!" Steve turned to see a brick red Pail come running up to him.

"What is it Pail?" Steve asked, Scully noticed that the Pail was crying. After all that had happened so far, a crying Pail didn't seem all that odd.

"I asked Shovel to go find some rocks for us to build a fort with, and she went off and never came back!" Steve nodded sympathetically. 

"We have been losing a lot of things lately." 

"Will you help me find her?" Steve turned again to the house, talking to seemingly nothing.

"Will you help Pail find Shovel?" he asked.

"Yes!" the _unseen chorus _cried. 

"Yes!" Mulder said as well. Scully rolled her eyes. Her partner was getting far to involved in this thing. Steve smiled with Mulder's enthusiasm.

"Well what should be our first step in finding Shovel?" Steve asked. 

"Finding out where she was seen last" Mulder said, trying to act professional.

"Good idea, Mr. Mulder." Steve cried happily. He turned to Pail. "Where was Shovel seen last?"

"She went to the Far Side of the House." Pail managed through sniffles.

"Well, lets go to the Far Side of the House." Steve started to walk back towards the left, Mulder hurried after, while Scully reluctantly followed.

"I don't see what this has to do with finding a missing paprika shaker…" She muttered.

When the three humans and one pail arrived at the Far Side of the House, they came face to plastic yellow face.

"Shovel!" Pail cried, tears finally dry.

"Pail!" Shovel cried as they hopped towards each other. Steve smiled and turned to the nothing, which was actually the _unseen chorus_. 

"Good Job! You found Shovel!" 

"I don't see why if the Pail knew that the Shovel was on the Far Side of the House, he couldn't just hop over there himself and not bother us." Scully murmured. No one seemed to hear her anymore. Soon, Pail and Shovel said good-bye and hopped of back to the right. While they hopped, a colorful book lying on the grass caught Mulder's eye. He walked over and noticed a big Blue paw print.

"Steve!" he cried "A clue! A clue!" Steve looked at him, smile plastered to his lips.

"I know, I'm happy too." Scully rolled her eyes. 

"No a clue!" Mulder yelled frustrated. Steve's eyes grew wide.

"Oh! A _clue_! Where?" 

"Over here!" Mulder stopped his fed up. Steve ran over to him. He picked up the book; there was a large, brightly colored bathroom with a paw print on it.

"It's the second clue!" Steve said and started to sing the song again. From out of nowhere, Blue popped up and began to bark along with the song. Scully began to rub her temples. After the song was finished, Blue ran into the house

"If the bathroom is one of the clues, why don't we go to it?" Scully asked after Steve finished. He and Mulder ignored her as they followed where Blue went. She threw up her hands exasperated. 

"What was that you said, Scully?" Mulder asked.

"Nothing…" She sighed. Mulder shrugged and began to walk with Steve to the door leading into the kitchen. As they walked into the kitchen, they saw Mr. Salt and Mrs. Pepper.

"Hey, have you seen which way Blue went?" Mr. Salt nodded (as only a salt shaker could) and pointed to the livingroom. His little arm was still around, and comforting Mrs. Pepper. Steve said thanks and walked into the vibrant living room. They walked towards the Big Red 'Thinking' Chair. Mulder still swore that the small table's draw's eyes were following him. He shook his head. Suddenly, a quartet-sounding chime called.

"Mail time!" Steve began to sing, ('like he does when anything ever happens in this blasted house.' Scully thought.) and Blue, again, popped up from nowhere and barked along

"Here's the mail, it never fails, it makes me want to wag my tail (where Steve appropriately shakes his rear) When it comes I want to wail, MAIL!" A Mailbox then shoot through the window, almost making Scully scream.

"Here's the mail, Steve. By the way, has anyone found Paprika?" the Mailbox asked.

"We're working on it." Scully said, rather sourly after her heart stopped racing. Steve pulled down the door of the Mailbox and pulled out a letter. Mailbox then retreated back through the window. And again, Steve began to sing

"We just got a letter, we just got a letter, we just got a letter, wonder who it's from." He stopped singing, much to Scully's pleasure

"It's a letter from our friends. Let's see what it says." Steve said. He opened a huge cardboard bright green card with a drawn picture of a dog and a stick figure man where the address should have been. When it was opened there was a video like picture in the middle of the card like a TV. Mulder's eye grew wide as the picture played out like a movie. There were two little children in the movie and it went something this:

"Hi Blue hi Steve! We're trying to find our stuffed bear." The two children started to walk around a porch searching for the bear. One kid, while looking under a bench, started saying

"My mother told me that if we start looking from were we last saw it." The other kid looked up 

"I last saw it by the tree." The two kids ran to the tree and lo-and-behold there was a stuffed bear. 

"We found it! Bye Steve!" The movie ended and Steve closed the card.

"What a nice letter from out friends!" Steve put the card aside, and turned to Mulder and Scully,

"Looks like we still have to find the third clue" Mulder tried to grab the card to examine it, but Steve pulled him away.

"Did you see where Blue went?" Mulder looked longingly at the card. While they walked through the Prozac ridden house, Mulder pulled Scully to him and whispered

"I want to see the card. I bet it is some sort of Alien machine…" Scully put a hand to his face and caught up to Steve, who was singing…again,

"We are looking for Blue's Clues, we are looking for Blue's Clues, we are looking for Blue's Clues, wonder where they are?"

"Well, we're damn sure never going to find them if you keep singing." Scully muttered; Mulder continuously looked over his shoulder to see the card.

As they walked, they caught a fleeting glimpse of Blue jumping into a open book with a picture of a bathroom on it. Scully was taken aback, Steve's eyes grew bright. He ran up to the book, and started to do a mock twist and semi-sang,

"Blue's skadoo, we can too!" He grabbed Mulder and Scully's hands and jumped into the book. 

Scully, once she was in the book, clutched her chest, as if to stop a pounding heart. 

"How…how did you do that?" She asked, stammering.

"You mean, you've never 'skadooed' into a book before?" Scully gave a look to Mulder but he was searching the bathroom vigorously trying to find how they managed to jump into a book. While Mulder searched, there was a little girl of blue paper, wearing a pink paper dress who came walking up to Steve. 

"Are you looking for Blue?" She asked.

"Why, yes we are." Steve said "We are looking for Blue. Have you seen her?" The paper-girl nodded, as only a paper-girl could. 

"She went that way." The girl pointed towards the bathroom door. 

"Why thank you." Steve said, "Come on Mr. Mulder and Ms. Scully, we have to find the last clue." Scully rolled her eyes, 

"I don't see how finding…" She was interrupted by the _unseen chorus_ and Mulder yelling,

"A clue! A clue!"

"My shoe?" asked Steve confused "Yeah, I guess I shouldn't wear my shoes in the bathroom." Mulder ran up to Steve, grabbed him by the shoulders and started to shake him.

"Can't you hear man? We said 'clue' not 'shoe' or anything else. Can't you see?" Mulder pulled a shocked and frightened Steve to a soap dish where a white bar of soap lay with a large paw print on it. Steve, now seeing the clue, only smiled.

"Oh! A Clue!" He pulled out of Mulder's grasps. "We found the third clue!" Steve pulled out his notebook and drew a picture of some soap. Then Steve looked like he was going to break into song again; Scully plugged her ears. 

When it seemed that Steve was finished, he grabbed her hand and Mulder's as Blue 'skadooed' out of the book. Steve, imitating the twisting motion, followed. Steve ran to the Big Red 'Thinking' Chair. Mulder and Scully followed. Steve pulled out his notebook. 

"Let's see, where could Paprika be that has to do with water, a bathroom and soap?" As Steve said the clues, his drawn pictures came to life and danced above his head. Scully only sighed, her sense of wonder becoming nullified by the minute. Mulder walked around the chair and began to examine the pictures. Steve seemed to be talking to himself, but Mulder and Scully (and us too by now) knew he was really talking to the _unseen chorus_. 

"What if Paprika was in some water, floating a bar of soap in a bathroom?" As Steve mentioned this, rather improbable situation, the pictures moved and bounced to visualize what he was saying. Mulder gasped in surprise, this only fueled his insatiable curiosity. 

"Maybe Paprika is in the bathroom, by some soap next to a sink full of water?" Scully asked sarcastically. Steve jumped up,

"What if Paprika was playing in some water, in the bathroom with Slippery?" The pictures again moved to picture what was being said, Mulder looked on with childish amazement. The _unseen chorus_ cheered. Steve hopped out of his chair, and began to dance.

"Who is Slippery?" Scully asked, caught unaware of Steve as he started of his song.

"We just figured out Blue's Clues, we just figured out Blue's Clues, we just figured out Blue's Clues, 'cause we're really smart." Scully rolled her eyes, Mulder went looking in vain for the pictures that vanished as Steve leaped out of his chair. 

"Come on Mr. Mulder, Ms. Scully, we have to get Paprika from the bathroom!" Steve walked with a bounce in his step to the bathroom. Mulder and Scully followed. 

Once in the bright white and blue bathroom they saw a small paprika shaker, playing a game with a soap bar. Scully was completely indifferent by this time.

"Paprika, it's time to go home." Steve said picking up the Paprika shaker. It made a kind of cooing, gurgling noise in response. 

"Awe, Steve we were just starting." Steve turned to the soap bar that was talking.

"Mr. Salt and Mrs. Pepper are worried about Paprika, so it time for her to leave." Mulder said and then blinked. He looked up at Scully,

"I'm talking to a bar of soap." Scully shrugged.

"This is the X-files, Mulder, we've seen stranger." Scully's voice was strained and tired. Mulder nodded.

Upon returning Paprika to a much relieved Mr. Salt and Mrs. Pepper, Steve proceeded to sing the 'good-bye song' in which Scully walked out of. 

That night, after far to many aspirins to cure the pounding headache, Scully wrote her concluding noted to the case:

__

Upon recollection of the event in the House of 'Steve' I would like to attribute all following event to a case of temporary insanity, or perhaps some kind of hallucinogen, perhaps induced by 'Steve' himself for purposes unknown at this time.

Although the site of vibrantly colored walls and ceilings were odd, the eccentrics went on under the brightly colored roof. Steve held an array of talking inanimate objects, such as a bucket, salt, pepper and paprika shaker, a bar of soap and a singing mailbox, among others. I would like to attribute these items as only side effects of the hallucinate, for otherwise, there is no reasonable explanation for this. In addition, Steve seemed to command an unseen chorus_ which he would talk to on occasion, strangely, these were not just voiced that only plagued Steve's mind, but were hear, clearly, to myself and Agent Mulder as well. However, none were as strange as the letter which contained a screen, much like a TV that played a movie/letter, and the pictures that floated out of a notebook and into plain view, flying above the notebook pages. Finally, there was the incident of the ability to, as Steve called it 'skadoo' into a book, and walk about in it's pictures. _

Again, I have no probable explanation to the proceeding event, and can only surmise the use of a hallucinogenic induced state, I will need to investigate further.


End file.
